March 5, 2011
Are you one of those people that can go anywhere and have someone talking to within five minutes, but deep down inside still feel lonely? It can break your heart! Studies have shown that people (especially women) who feel lonely even in the company of others are at a much higher risk for heart disease. Here are some ways you can tackle those feelings of loneliness so you can have healthier relationships, and a healthy heart.
Steps1 Understand that it's quality that matters, not quantity. It doesn't matter how manypeople you know, but how well you know them. And more importantly: how well they know you. Or if they really know you at all.- Understand yourself. We all have our fair share of heartaches and wounds as we grow up. By the time we reach forty, we will have lost the openness we had as a four-year-old, as we learned not to let certain things get to us anymore. That's only natural. But it's different when you have closed down to such a degree that you have become unable to really get "in touch" with other people. You become, in fact, locked up within yourself.
3 Find out what locked you up in the first place. Maybe you were abused or neglected by the people who were supposed to take care of you. Maybe you were bullied or left out by your classmates. Maybe you are feeling inadequate because of physical or mental disabilities, your gender, race or social background. These events and feelings can have serious consequences that you must deal with. The good news is: you don't have to fight this battle alone.4 Seek help. Find a therapist to talk about what happened. Yes, it seems unfair that you have to seek professional help when these haunting burdens that are ruining your life are not your fault. You tried to help everybody, regardless of the fact that you weren't a professional. If you start telling your life's story to just about anyone, you will end up being the whining and complaining one. You know from experience that that is a huge turn-off.5 Stop expecting the people around you to reach out. If you've noticed you feel lonely when you're surrounded by people, you probably have decent social skills already, hence the being surrounded by people, but those connections lack intimacy. In addition to being locked up inside, you might also expect other people to initiate something that would deepen the connection, such as noticing when you feel down and insisting that you talk to them about it so they can help. Instead, learn to speak up and ask for help. Say things like "Hey, I'm going through a rough patch. Can we talk about it? I think that'll make me feel better."6 Be a little less sensitive. The same thing mentioned in the previous applies to you. If you find you're always picking up someone else's mood, saying things like: "You don't look so happy today. Is something wrong?", you must learn not to be overly sensitive to everyone else's lot, to the extent that you neglect yourself. Every relationship is a two way street, and any mature adult should be able to let you know when they're feeling bad, rather than expect you to guess all the time.7 Learn to say no. Sometimes we feel lonely because we feel used and objectified. Perhaps you are a good listener, and people always seem to cry on your shoulder. And when they are done crying, they head out to have fun with other people. Ouch! That hurts! So next time somebody wants to cry on your shoulder, bluntly tell them no. This will make you feel like you're rude, but you're only standing up for yourself. You may lose friends over this, but they weren't your friends to begin with. They were only counting on you to listen to their whining and complaining. You need to make room in your life for people who care about you, and who can have deeper relationships with you.8 Be good to yourself. If you feel happy, you will look happy. And happy people attract other people.9 Open up. This is the scary part. When you open up to other people, you are guaranteed to have some more heartaches and hurts. But it's really the only way to connect, and deepen relationships. Start talking: about things you did last weekend, movies you saw, books you read... And when you feel comfortable, start digging deeper.Tips- Being in touch with other people doesn't mean being out of touch with yourself. When you are at a social gathering by yourself, and you notice that you are comfortable just sitting there and quietly sipping your drink, that's fine.
Warnings- If you find that in opening up, you talk a lot about negative things, you'll deter people. ReadHow to Be Optimistic.
- Being lonely and being alone are two different things! Joining clubs and activities will not solve the problem if you're lonely. It will only wear you out.
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
March 5, 2011
Rude cellphone users are much anywhere that there's a cell phone signal. Most people who are being impolite don't realize what they're doing. Could that be you? Steps1 Keep a 10-foot (3 meter) distance between you and anyone else whenever you talk on your phone. No exceptions.2 Don't talk too loudly. Generally you don't have to shout in the microphone to be heard on the other end. In fact, doing so often makes it harder for you to be understood. In addition, shouting on the phone disrupts peopl...
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
March 5, 2011
Are you a long way from someone? And you can't tell wether your heart is in the relationship? Here's how you decide whether to keep them or not.
Steps1 Make sure you trust one another. This is one of the biggest parts of being in a long distance relationship. If there is no trust, find out why. Discuss the situation with your partner, and work together to solve your problems.- Be willing to make sacrifices. A relationship that is not physical or where you do not get to see your partner every da...
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
March 5, 2011
Is your long distance relationship working? It can be hard to tell. I will show you how to sort through the confusing mush that is your and your partner's emotions.
Steps1 Make sure you trust one another. This is one of the biggest parts of being in a long distance relationship. If there is no trust, find out why. Discuss the situation with your partner, and work together to solve your problems.2 Be willing to make sacrifices. A relationship that is not physical or where you do not get to see y...
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
March 5, 2011
Do you see that special guy everyday, but don't know if you like him? Do you get that weird feeling every time you look at him? This article will let you know if you have a crush on a guy. Steps1 Notice how much you're around him. If you are around him a lot, this is one sign you may like him. He might be an old friend and this can be good and bad. In some cases it's good, because you'll know him and you might feel comfortable. In other cases it can might feel odd moving to a new level. So, mak...
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
March 5, 2011
Sometimes, things just don't work out between the guy you like and yourself. You might have realized what a jerk he is, or maybe you saw him using the same lines on another girl that he used on you yesterday. The problem is, you want to hate him for what he is, but you still like him a little bit. Not for long.
Steps1 Think. Should you like him? The reason you probably want to hate him is because you clearly and obviously know that you SHOULDN'T like him. He is not right for you, whether it's ...
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
March 5, 2011
This is a guide to show you how to be more intimate with your special someone and NOT have sex! And some on a good relationship. Steps1 One of many things you can do to be more intimate is to play games with each other that you and just a friend would never play. For example, you want to make a kiss more interesting.2 For girls: steal his wallet while you two are kissing. (This is recommended only if you two have been together for a while.) This will usually cause him to kiss you again so you ar...
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
March 5, 2011
If you have a boyfriend who cheats and lies, it's not a good relationship to be in and it's time to make a decision about where to head next. This article will help you to work through dealing with a lying boyfriend.
Steps1 Become aware that you're being lied to. If you're too busy making up excuses and denying that your boyfriend is lying to you, you're delaying the inevitable. Signs you're being lied to include:- Not keeping dates with you and making up bizarre excuses
- Changing stories all the ...
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
March 5, 2011
By straight definition, unconditional love is hard to really define clearly. This in itself can cause a great deal of confusion. Here is how to define what it means to love without limits or conditions. Steps1 Look at the word "love". Define it in simple terms. Love is: a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person. Yet, these sound like conditions (a mode or state of being).- Look at the word "unconditional". Unconditional means: without conditions or limitation...
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
March 5, 2011
As your relationship with a new person in your life has developed, you find your old friends falling away, while family members remark on how you don't seem like yourself. Are you losing yourself to an odd, and ultimately destructive, relationship? Before you can regain your individuality and strength, you'll need to determine if the relationship is taking something away, and, if so, put an end to the destructive cycle. While the steps are directed towards romantic relationships, they do appl...
Posted by Sally. Posted In : Maintaining Relationships
|
About Me
Student in King Abdual aziz University -
English Field
|
|
